Chessed- Loving Kindness (Capacity) in Hebrew

Creating more capacity in ourselves for others means expanding our ability to empathize, understand, and connect with those around us. To have capacity is to have the mental, emotional, and spiritual space to hold and embrace the needs, feelings, and experiences of others.

In Judaism, the concept of capacity can be understood in various contexts. One way to develop capacity is through the practice of "Chessed" (Loving-Kindness) acts towards others.

The Torah teaches us in Leviticus 19:18, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," which encourages us to empathize with the needs of others and strive to fulfill them. The Torah also reminds us that we are all created in the image of G-d (Genesis 1:27).

Recognizing this divine spark within each person helps us appreciate their worth and value, thus expanding our capacity to care for and uplift others. Developing capacity also involves cultivating humility and self-awareness.

The sage Hillel said in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) 1:14, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I?"

This reminds us to strike a balance between caring for ourselves and caring for others. To expand our capacity, we can engage in practices such as mindfulness, active listening, and self-reflection. These practices allow us to become more present, compassionate, and attuned to the needs and experiences of others. By internalizing the values of kindness, empathy, and respect, we create more space within ourselves to connect genuinely with others.

Ultimately, expanding our capacity for others involves a lifelong journey of growth, self-improvement, and deepening our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Judaism provides a rich tradition of teachings and values that can guide us on this path of becoming more open-hearted and compassionate individuals.

7 Ways to Gain More Capacity

1. Cultivate self-awareness. Star by being mindful of your own thoughts, emotions, and reactions. Understand your own strengths and weaknesses, biases, and triggers. This self-awareness allows you to better navigate your interactions with others and be more receptive to their needs.

2. Practice Active Listening. Actively listen to others without interrupting or immediately offering advice. Give them your full attention, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in understanding their perspective. This practice not only helps you understand others better but also shows respect and validation for their experiences.

3. Develop Empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of others and try to understand their feelings, challenges, and motivations. Empathy involves suspending judgement and seeking to understand rather than solely focusing on your own point of view. Practicing empathy helps build connections and bonds with others.

4. Engage in Chessed (Loving-Kindness) Acts. Look for opportunities to perform acts of loving-kindness towards others. This can be as simple as showing kindness and respect to strangers, helping others in need, or volunteering your time for charitable causes. Acts of chessed help develop compassion, generosity, and a greater sense of interconnectedness.

5. Work on Boundaries. Set healthy boundaries for yourself to prevent burnout and maintain your own well-being while being present for others. Recognize that while it is essential to care for others, you also need to prioritize self-care and not stretch yourself too thin.

6. Study Jewish Teachings. Dive into the wisdom of Jewish texts and teachings to gain insights into how to improve your capacity for others. Studying the Torah, Talmud, and Jewish commentaries can provide guidance on how to fulfill mitzvot (commandments) that pertain to interpersonal relationships and caring for one another.

7. Practice Gratitude. Develop a mindset of gratitude by acknowledging the blessings in your life and expressing appreciation for others. By cultivating gratitude, you develop an attitude of abundance, leading to increased capacity for kindness and compassion toward others.

Expanding your capacity for others is a continuous journey. Be patient with yourself and embrace growth opportunities as they arise. Through the combination of self-reflection, active listening, empathic engagement, and incorporating Jewish teachings, you can gradually enhance your capacity to connect with and care for those around you.

And remember that whatever you gave the day today, it was your best, and that's enough.

-N