Control vs. Responsibility

Control and responsibility are two distinct concepts that intersect in our lives.

Control refers to the ability to influence or regulate events, circumstances, or outcomes. It implies having power or authority over a situation or oneself. Control speaks to our capacity to shape and direct things as we see fit.

Responsibility relates to our duty or obligation to fulfill certain roles, tasks, or duties. It carries the notion of being accountable for our actions, choices, and their consequences, whether they were within our control or not.

Basically, control refers to our ability to influence or regular, while responsibility refers to fulfilling our duties and obligations regardless of the level of control we have.

In Hebrew the word for control is "Shlitah" or "Bikoret). These terms encapsulate the idea of authority, governance, or mastery over a situation or oneself. The word for responsibility is "Achrayut". It is derived from the root word (achar), which means "after" or "behind". The term converys the idea of being accountable or answerable for one's actions, duties, or obligations.

While control suggests an element of power and influence, responsibility emphasizes the moral and ethical aspects of our actions. We can be responsible for things that are beyond our control, such as external circumstances or other people's actions, but we still have a responsibility to respond in ways that align with our values and principles.

Why are we obsessed with control?

Sense of security: Control provides a perceived sense of security and stability. When we have some measure of control over our circumstances, we can feel more prepared to face challenges and navigate the uncertainties of life.

Autonomy and independence: Control is closely linked to our sense of autonomy and independence. It allows us to make decisions aligned with our values and preferences, giving us a greater sense of personal achievement.

Achievement and success: Control can be linked to the desire for achievement and success. When we have control over our actions or outcomes, we may have a higher chance of reaching our goals or attaining desired results.

Fear of the unknown: Many people are uncomfortable with uncertainty. Having control offers the illusion of managing the unknown and reducing feelings of vulnerability or fear.

Coping with anxiety: Control can be used as a coping mechanism to manage anxiety. By exerting control over certain aspects of our lives, we may be able to reduce feelings or anxiety or gain a sense of reassurance.

Sometimes, a healthy amount of control can be beneficial, it is essential to recognize that there are limits to our control. Life is inherently unpredictable, and certain factors are beyond our influence or authority. Trying to exert excessive control over everything can become overwhelming, causing additional stress and disappointment.

The desire for control is a natural and fundamental aspect of humans. It is not uncommon for people to seek a sense of control in their lives.

In the context of Judaism, the concept of responsibility is highly significant. Jewish reachings stress the importance of recognizing our responsibilities and fulfilling them ethically and morally, even when circumstances may be beyond our control. This includes responsibilities towards ourselves, others, the environment, and our relationship with G-d.

Judaism teaches us that while we may strive for control, there are limitations to our power. Ultimately, control rests with G-d. Recognizing this, we acknowledge our responsibility to align our actions with G-d's will and fulfill our role in this world.

Regardless of whether you seek control or you seek responsibility, we must remember that the ultimate control rests with G-d. Reminding ourselves this vital belief encourages humility and the recognition that there are higher powers beyond our control.

Embrace what you can control and let G-d take care of the rest and alleviate the obsessive need for total control so you can gain a sense of surrender, tranquility, and a deeper sense of inner peace.

As always, remember that whatever you gave the day today, it was your best, and that's enough.

-N